Some Characteristics of Codependency

From Am I Codependent?  

• Having trouble setting healthy priorities and boundaries

• Freely offer advice and direction without being asked

• Attempt to convince others what to think, do, or feel

• Compromise their own values and integrity to avoid rejection or anger

• Put aside their own interests in order to do what others want

• Do not recognize the unavailability of those people to whom they are attracted

• Label others with their negative traits

• Judge harshly what others think say or do

• Judge what they think, say, or do harshly, as never good enough

• Have difficulty identifying what they are feeling

• Minimize, alter, or deny how they truly feel

• Express negativity or aggression in indirect and passive ways

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Whatever the precipitating dysfunction may be, we begin to recognize that the cause lies in deep, long-standing destructive patterns of living. We believe that recovery begins with an honest self-assessment.

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From the CoDA Welcome:

• we have found in each of our lives that codependence is a most deeply rooted compulsive behavior and that it is born out of our sometimes moderately, sometimes extremely dysfunctional family and other systems. We have each experienced in our own ways the painful trauma of the emptiness of our childhood and relationships, throughout our lives.

• We attempted to use others – our mates, friends, and even our children, as our sole source of identity, value and well-being, and as a way of trying to restore within us the emotional losses from our childhoods. Our histories may include other powerful addictions which at times we have used to cope with our codependence.

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More Info about Characteristics of Codependency

• Codependant Patterns & Behavior for Self Diagnosis (PDF)

• Corresponding Recovery Patterns (PDF)