Meets 2nd Wednesday of the month
Sign up for Newcomer Meetings here
Spanish Newcomer Meetings
Meets 3rd Wednesday of the month
Sign up for Spanish Newcomer Meetings here
What is Codependence
& How Can CoDA Help?
This page is a good place to start and will answer many of your questions. There are downloadable brochures, self-assessment tools, frequently asked questions, and a speaker who shares from her background and recovery.
For those new to CoDA, we typically recommend keeping an open mind and attending at least 6 meetings in order to adequately discover how Co-dependents anonymous can help.
Codependence occurs in 5 distinct patterns of behaviors, each of which occur along a continuum. Co-Dependents Anonymous is a non-professional fellowship, and we can offer no specific definitions or diagnostic criteria. Codependence is determined by how much our lives and relationships are affected by these patterns – Self-assessment tools & CoDA Brochures are available below.
- Codependent Behavior Patterns:
- Low self-esteem
– From Am I Codependent?
- Having trouble setting healthy priorities and boundaries
- Freely offer advice and direction without being asked
- Attempt to convince others what to think, do, or feel
- Compromise their own values and integrity to avoid rejection or anger
- Put aside their own interests in order to do what others want
- Do not recognize the unavailability of those people to whom they are attracted
- Label others with their negative traits
- Judge harshly what others think say or do
- Judge what they think, say, or do harshly, as never good enough
- Have difficulty identifying what they are feeling
- Minimize, alter, or deny how they truly feel
- Express negativity or aggression in indirect and passive ways
Whatever the precipitating dysfunction may be, we begin to recognize that the cause lies in deep, long-standing destructive patterns of living. We believe that recovery begins with an honest self-assessment.
– From the CoDA Welcome:
…we have found in each of our lives that codependence is a most deeply rooted compulsive behavior and that it is born out of our sometimes moderately, sometimes extremely dysfunctional family and other systems. We have each experienced in our own ways the painful trauma of the emptiness of our childhood and relationships, throughout our lives.
We attempted to use others – our mates, friends, and even our children, as our sole source of identity, value and well-being, and as a way of trying to restore within us the emotional losses from our childhoods. Our histories may include other powerful addictions which at times we have used to cope with our codependence.
DOWNLOAD ->Codependent Patterns & Behaviors for Self-Diagnosis
DOWNLOAD -> Corresponding Recovery Patterns
Additional downloads listed at bottom of page.
A CoDA meeting is much more than a place to sit and tell your troubles, it is a place to meet people like yourself and to learn from those who are different from you; a place to interact with people focused on learning to have healthy and loving relationships.
– From Fellowship Service Manual Part 2
We become accountable for our codependent behaviors which reinforce patterns of devastation in our lives. We grow in humility as we learn of our own shortcomings and defects of character, and we recognize our skills, talents and successes….
We also try to complete the work which helps heal our wounds and perhaps those whom we have hurt.
If we attempt to complete the Steps alone, we may perpetuate isolation: a common codependent behavior. In time, many of us seek the loving help of those who have traveled this path before us… these Steps cannot be completed quickly or absolutely; they are not quick fixes.
– From the CoDA Book:
What are the 12 steps of CoDA?
See Steps & Promises
Listen to Wendy S. Share her
Experience, Strength, & Hope!
Wendy S. graciously shared her CoDA journey at the July 20 Speaker Meeting. Listen to her amazing story!
Use this link to hear other CoDA Members who have shared their CoDA journey.
Questions & Answers
– From Info for Professionals
How is CoDA different from other 12 Step groups such as AA or Al-Anon?
Other 12 Step groups support people or friends of people, who have addictions such as alcohol. CoDA supports people to create healthy relations starting with themselves, whether or not addictions exist in their lives.
Does CoDA provide counselling?
CoDA is a 12 Step Fellowship and peer support group. It aims to create a safe environment for those wishing recovery from dysfunctional relationships, providing anonymity and freedom from judgement or feedback. In CoDA we share our own experience, strength, and hope. We do not give advice.
May I share CoDA materials with my clients?
You can find pamphlets, service documents, and a list of meetings below or by going to the www.coda.org website.
For those new to CoDA, we typically recommend attending at least 6 meetings while keeping an open mind to adequately discover how Co-dependents anonymous can help.
May I, as a professional, attend a CoDA meeting?
You are welcome to attend any “open” meeting. Identify yourself by first name only, not as a professional. You are not required to share. Please do not give advice; sharing is about our own experiences.
We are fully self-supporting. Modest donations are encouraged, but not required.
Download CoDA Materials:
SELF-ASSESSMENT & RECOVERY
- Download -> Recovery Patterns
NEWCOMER’S TOOLS & ACTION STEPS
- Download -> Newcomer’s Tools & Action Steps – Used for our monthly Newcomer’s Meeting (listed at top of page)
– It is best to print double-sided so they can fan-fold.
– Select “fit to page” in your printer settings if necessary.
Download -> “Info for Professionals”
Download -> “Am I Codependent?”
Download -> “Recovery from Codependence: A Brief Introduction”
Download -> “Your First Meeting”
Download -> Attending Meetings – How to Listen, & How to Share
Download –> CoDA Step Prayers for each Step
Download -> Communication and Recovery
Download -> Establishing Boundaries in Recovery
Download -> Sponsorship in CoDA
Download -> 12 Tips for Sponsors
Download -> 1st 14 Days in CoDA Sponsee Workbook
Download -> 1st 14 Days – Guide For Sponsors
Download -> 30 Questions – A Clear Guide to Working Steps 1-3 with a Sponsor
Purchase -> Sponsorship: What’s in it for Me? ($3)
These inexpensive $3 booklets are an invaluable resource that will serve you throughout your recovery:
- Newcomer’s Handbook: Purchase here – A detailed description of the CoDA program.
- Twelve Steps Handbook: Purchase here – A detailed look at each of the Twelve Steps and how they apply to daily life.
- Tools for Recovery: Purchase here – Tools used for recovery